Posts tagged with "psychology"

Wellness Expert Shares Personal Struggle with Addiction & Depression

ADDICITION. Doesn’t discriminate.
ANXIETY. Indifferent to credentials and achievements.
DEPRESSION. Blind to where you live.

By: Dr. Natacha D. Nelson D.C, M.A.

“Look at you, your parents should be disgusted by you”, voices whispered solely for my ears.

“Your black daddy and your white mommy should be ashamed, to get married, to have you…”, their unapologetic words punctured my naive heart. The seed planted.

“A half breed, black girl shouldn’t be raised by a foreign, white woman. You should be taken and given to a proper home”. Their sentiments pierced every cell of my seven year old body. The terror became real.

***

I Attended a private high school and college. And I was an addict. An eating disorder, compulsive exercise and alcohol consumed my life. Desperate to distract myself from painful and uncomfortable feelings, the addictions led to academic probation and ultimately, dismissal from college.

Determined to become successful, I redeemed myself as the doctor of a large successful practice. I became an internationally competing athlete, married, had a family and good friends around me. None of my achievements dissolved the terror restless below the surface. The image I portrayed eclipsed my fear. Not even I noticed the hibernating rumblings.

Skilled at detecting possible threats against me or my mom (whether real or imagined) I blotted out the physical and emotional consequences of undetected anxiety growing fierce. My duty as a protector and provider devoured my time, money, energy and resources. In attempt to thwart perceived threats, I bankrupt myself; physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. Unable to force myself out of bed, depression ensued.

The proverbial earthquake jolted my life. Demolishing the comfortable walls I erected for safety. Raw and vulnerable, I allowed myself to feel the heartbreak, the grief and the rage. Courageously, I engaged one feeling, one emotion, at a time. Finally willing to acknowledging the terror and pain, I desperately tried circumvent.

Giving my hurt permission to breathe, I began to write. And the healing balm, called Love, soothed my aching heart. Through writing, I was able to sift through four decades of actions and behaviors of my life. Eventually, the “A-Ha” moment revealed itself to me.

*****

The insight that my choices and decisions were unconsciously driven by the need to prove to myself and others, that I was lovable. I wanted to feel accepted, at least tolerated enough, to dissuade others from harming me or my mom.

Unknowingly, my efforts could never hush the unloved parts of me I refused to accept. Other people’s beliefs- about me, my parents and my life- I accepted as true. As long as I held the misbelief that I was unlovable, nothing I could do would override my inner judgments of myself. My outward actions would follow my unconscious beliefs.

My only mistake was to believe the false words of strangers and neighbors. Accepting their judgments as true and accurate. Believing I was bad, wrong, worthless and to be ashamed of. My parents’ marriage-one year after interracial marriage was legalized- to some, was deemed a disgust and my black and white mixed skin was a disgrace.

Once I forgave myself, for choices I made from fear and misinterpretations about myself, the healing began. I could not prove I was loveable if I didn’t believe I was. Accepting I am loveable, I no longer felt the need to prove it; not to myself, to my parents, to anyone. I forgave myself for buying into the unkind words of strangers and neighbors. I Forgave myself for the actions and behaviors I engaged in as a result of the misinterpretations I believed about myself. I Forgave my parents for the mistakes I believed they made in raising me. And forgave the authority figures of my childhood whose unkind words hurt me.

Addictions thwarted my college experience.

Anxiety bankrupt me.

Depression forced me to look at every aspect of my life, lovingly guiding me through the necessary emotional process. The healing work was worth the time and effort. I am finally free.

To you, Beloved Reader. You, too, are loved, are loveable and your life matters.

With Loving,
Natacha.

To learn more about my story, my services, visit:
www.adancingzebra.com
www.lifedoctor.guru
“Finding Courage to Let YOU Out” is available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

About the author
Dr. Natacha D. Nelson D.C, M.A., has dedicated her career to understanding the connections between physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being through principles of Chiropractic and Spiritual Psychology. A practicing chiropractor for over 20 years, she is the owner of Inside Out Wellness Center, as well as a former professional beach volleyball player and advisor on health and wellness for the Santa Clara Fire and Menlo-Atherton Police Departments. She is a Mental Health and Wellness consultant and educator who keeps up on the latest research and attends continuing education seminars and scientific symposia, and has a master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology. She lives in Los Angeles, with her daughter.

Neurotriggers

In the early to mid-1970’s, a million dollars was a great deal of money, and thinking about becoming a millionaire was thinking very big indeed. A million dollars was a fortune to be amassed. Today it is a yearly income, or, at best, a couple years’ income needed by anybody attempting to amass a real fortune.

In a documentary on Ted Turner, he was bemoaning the loss of much of his wealth thanks to AOL/Time Warner, and worrying about being “down to a billion” while still in his 70’s — he said he hopes to have enough left to retire on someday. You can, he pointed out, get by on a billion if you’re careful and don’t buy too many planes or yachts. He was speaking tongue-in-cheek, but not totally. Just as 80 is the new 60 and we hope 100 will soon be the new 80, a billion is the new 25-million.

The first arsenal of skills and strategies one should master are those of survival. How to be broke but live well. How to pay one credit card with another. How to look the part and act as if. Some of these skills have lasting value, but most become an impediment, standing in the way of developing the different set of skills one needs next. I think overall, one of the hardest things we do in life is shed the thoughts, attitudes, skills, habits, associations that worked for us when doing “A” but hold us back and get in the way of doing “B”. We shed skin easily and automatically. We do not shed thoughts and behaviours so easily.

The second arsenal one should master are those for making money. Lots of it. In chunks and surges. These days, to be a millionaire is not all that complicated. If you happen to be young, 20 or 30, you can very, very easily reach and surpass that benchmark purely with an intelligent retirement plan (or other tax protected savings plan) by saving and contributing the maximum amount allowed every year. Or by buying a few good homes and owning them for the long haul. That will get you a million dollars someday.

To take it one step further, earning a million dollars per year – even though that certainly puts you at the 1% pinnacle of society – is also actually not all that difficult. A great many businesses or combinations of businesses provide such opportunity. It is, for example, nothing more than 1,000 transactions of $2,000.00 each with 50% net. Or 100 at $20,000.00 each. Or 1,000 customers giving you $100.00 a month. Or 2,000, giving you $50.00. I just read a report of a Gourmet Bacon Of The Month Club providing its owner with such income. Bacon.

Making lesser but still significant income, $100,000.00, $200,000.00 a year, even easier. A good handyman with nothing but a cellphone could have a ‘concierge practice’, with, say, 25 clients each paying him $300.00 a month…$7,500.00 a month, $100,000.00 a year. Just not that tough. More mental barriers than anything.

But if you start to think in terms of creating and keeping a small fortune in the 10-million to 50-million-dollar neighbourhoods, rather than just a million or two, the arsenal of required once again changes substantially. The knowledge needed, different. The mind-set needed, different. Here, in this space, an odd combination of daring, speed, grabbing of opportunities must be counter-balanced with a concern for preservation of capital, a diligent management of the money, not just making it.

I spent time the other day with one of my long-time clients who personally earns about 5-million a year and is worth about 4 million. He is busily involved in dozens of high-pressure projects. He said, “I often fall into shit. Sometimes I come up with gold. Other times I come up with shit. My success rate does not distinguish me. Being willing to dive into shit, that distinguishes me.” Different mindset.

We’ve talked about speed. To become a millionaire, you can do things slowly, methodically, logically, sequentially, neatly and cautiously. To be a multi, multi-millionaire, you cannot.

To stay a millionaire once there, you need to conserve. To buy carefully, spend reluctantly, invest wisely. Never paying more than is necessary. To stay a multi, multi-millionaire you need to be more aggressive. You often cannot afford to get the very best buy, as your time and lost opportunity is far more valuable than the deal available across town.

There is a hierarchy of sorts for independent business. It is: shopkeeper; business owner, entrepreneur; entrepreneur-investor; investor-entrepreneur. One of the painful aspects of moving through these stages is doing less of something you’ve mastered (and can do easily), in favour of doing other things you’re clumsy and uncertain at; the constant setting aside of old tools with which you’re expert in and picking up new tools you are profoundly inexpert with; of climbing Maslow’s step again and again and again.

Questions: What skills do you have that are useful not just at present but for where you want to go? What present skills are holding you back? What skills do you lack currently, but will be needed for the spot just ahead on your chosen road? Do you even have a Personal Skills List each ranked 1-10, and a list of New Skills In Development?

For additional information visit http://neurotriggers.com/

British Parents Spend £642 a Month on Credit Cards

    • Totally Money’s Credit Spending Index reveals the nation is spending 46% more on credit cards compared to ten years ago.
    • 56% of parents would rather save for a family holiday than clothing for children and school equipment and trips.
    • 78% of parents worry about their financial situation at least once a month

    Getting kids back to school means buying new P.E. kits, geometry sets, and school uniforms, 64% of parents, however, are frequently concerned about being able to afford their bills – so how are parents managing to cope with their cash flow, bills, and outgoings? The last ten years have been filled with financial uncertainty, from the market crash to the housing bubble, these have affected all forms of spending habits such as the price of petrol to the price of school lunches.

    Families are becoming more frugal when it comes to watching their pennies. Totally Money’s new research explores spending over the past decade, tracking data on consumer behavior, to reveal how parents have been managing their cash and paying their bills.

    Younger Families Rely the Most on Credit Card Spending

    Although the number of credit cards and accounts in circulation has decreased by 10% over the past decade, the number of purchases made have risen by 25%. Totally Money’s study reveals that the total value of credit card purchases has increased by a worryingly high 46%. When parents were asked if they feel they rely too heavily on their credit cards, 13% agreed. This agreement peaked to just under one out of five parents with young families (those who have children under the age of three).

    Parents Prioritize Holiday Saving

    The survey also revealed that a shocking 78% of parents worry about their financial situation on a monthly basis, with 28% worrying daily. However, despite this, an alarming 56% of parents prioritize saving for their family holiday over clothing for their children, as well as school equipment and school trips.

    Credit Card Spending

    With just over 75% of parents owning a credit card, 36% rely on their credit card to get them through the month – spending an average of £643 per month. The study also unveiled younger families might worry the most but are evidently savvier when it comes to their pennies; spending the least on their credit cards per month (£551). However, whilst parents with children aged between eight and twelve have the highest amount of disposable income, an average of £315 left at the end month, it seems the same group tend to be the most reliant on their credit cards; averagely spending £742 per month.

    44% of parents say they find themselves concerned about being able to afford their bills every month. This could be accredited to the increase in the cost of living as well as inflation compared to the national average salary of £27,600 – £1,200 less than the national average weekly household spend of £554.20, equating to a yearly figure of £28,818.

    Joe Gardiner, Head of Brand and Communications at Totally Money, comments, “It’s no secret that the way British people are spending their money has changed over the years. Although outstanding personal loans per household have fallen by 13%, the number of purchases has risen by 25%, which can be accredited to the difference of 4% between how much people are spending yearly and the average national wage.”

    “Brits are having to carefully consider what they deem to be important in order to make their income stretch even further. When asked what measures people put in place to assure they rely on your credit cards and/or overdrafts, it was really encouraging to hear the majority of people surveyed replied that they’re actively taking control of their finances by keeping an eye on unnecessary spending and budgeting in advance. ”

    To view the full tool ‘The Evolution of British Spending’ click here to discover more.

Tom Kersting Licensed Psychotherapist

Tom Kersting is one of the most sought-after experts in the field of mental health, families, parenting in the digital age, and over-device use. Tom holds advanced degrees including a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from St. Thomas Aquinas College, a Master’s degree in Counseling & Human Development and a second Master’s in Administration & Supervision, both from Montclair State University. Tom also holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Hypnotherapy (alternative/non-traditional) from Kona University.

Tom is a spokesperson for Zift, your screen time parenting ally, which offers a comprehensive and free solution for families wanting a safe and healthy way to live with smartphones, social media, apps and other screen time media and devices. Zift’s free app provides parents with the ‘Family Feed’ – a quick and easy way to understand their children’s screen time activity in real-time – by alerting parents to online searches, app installations, and viewing of dangerous content. Through its Parent Portal found at WeZift.com, Zift provides parents and others entrusted with the care of children a place to learn about and discuss the latest topics related to screen time use, online safety, and social media. Zift Premium, which includes the Net Nanny® Smart Filter, offers the best protection, screen time scheduling and device control that parents need to help raise successful kids in a technology-driven world.

Emotional Eating Contributing to Your Prediabetes?

Here Are Eight ADA-Approved Techniques to Break This Dangerous Habit

If you’ve got prediabetes, it’s time to adopt healthier eating habits. But emotional eating is one habit that could derail your progress and put you further at risk. Jill Weisenberger, author of Prediabetes: A Complete Guide, offers tips to help you stop emotional eating today.

Arlington, VA (May 2018)—If you’ve been diagnosed with prediabetes or have been told that you’re at high risk for developing type 2 diabetes, you already know you’ve got to change your eating habits. But overhauling your diet is anything but easy—especially when you’re feeling hurt, sad, mad, lonely, or aggravated. If you turn to food when you’re stressed or unhappy, you could be damaging your health with emotional eating.

“Plenty of people who try to adopt healthier eating habits often find themselves waylaid by emotional eating,” says Jill Weisenberger, who partnered with the American Diabetes Association to write Prediabetes: A Complete Guide: Your Lifestyle Reset to Stop Prediabetes and Other Chronic Illnesses (American Diabetes Association, May 2018, ISBN: 978-1-580-40674-1, $16.95). “Digging into a carton of ice cream or bag of chips when you’re feeling down can quickly derail your health goals. And for the 84 million American adults with prediabetes, emotional eating can be especially dangerous to your health.”

Weisenberger says it can be hard to break the habit of emotional eating, because psychology and biology are both at play. People reach for “feel-good” foods like Mom’s cookies or a cheesy casserole. Additionally, stress hormones crank up the appetite, and eating releases the brain’s feel-good chemicals. Often, a psychotherapist skilled in working with people with disordered eating is the ideal person to help you. Ask your healthcare provider for a referral if you think a psychotherapist can help you.

Despite these challenges, you can learn to stop emotional eating with practice and diligence. Are you ready to break free of emotional eating and move one step closer to reclaiming your health? Here are a few techniques that may help you on your journey.

Keep a log. Record your food intake for a week or two. Track what you’re eating along with your mood. This process may help you find choice points in which you can learn to change your thinking and behavior and teach you to identify your breaking points long before you break.

“Consider keeping a photo log,” suggests Weisenberger. “If you’re about to eat, snap a picture. Do this for a week to see in color the choices you’ve been making.”

Notice and label your emotions. Having negative emotions isn’t usually bad. In fact, having negative emotions is actually normal. But taking a deep dive into a bag of salty, crunchy snacks because of negative emotions is unhelpful in the long run.

“Practice noticing and labeling your emotions,” says Weisenberger. “Are you sad, anxious, lonely, or mad? Naming them and observing them without judgment will help you learn about them. Many people find that journaling about their emotions is helpful.”

Imagine handling emotional situations. In your mind, practice responding to common triggers in ways that don’t lead you to overeating. Think about what you can do next time you feel overwhelmed with household chores or the next time you argue with your spouse or whatever situation leads you to eat emotionally. Over and over in your mind, practice acting in desirable ways. “Here again,” says Weisenberger, “many people find journaling enlightening and empowering.”

Create a plan. After imagining responding in positive ways, create a plan for difficult situations. If you need distractions, gather things to help you, such as puzzle books, adult coloring books, nail polish, a list of people to call, or a list of activities such as soaking in a bath or playing with your dog.

“If you know that exercise or meditation help you cope with strong emotions, plan to take at least five minutes for meditation or exercise,” says Weisenberger. “You may need more than one plan to address various situations.”

Practice non-food coping skills. Regularly soothe yourself without calories. Every day, take time for soothing enjoyment, so when the time comes, you have an arsenal of coping strategies at the ready. Some ideas include taking deep-breathing breaks, using adult coloring books, writing in a journal, listening to soothing or uplifting music, chatting with a friend, buying yourself flowers, or soaking in a hot tub.

“I regularly play with my dog, Benny, a perpetual puppy,” says Weisenberger. “I also call and text my daughters, spend quiet time drinking tea or coffee with my husband, take five-minute breaks outside, and sit alone sipping a warm and fragrant tea from a beautiful cup. How you choose to soothe yourself is as individual as you are.”

Adopt a morning ritual. A morning ritual potentially has the power to affect your entire day. A ritual is different from a routine in that a ritual holds a deeper meaning. A few examples are:

• Express gratitude in thoughts, a journal, or aloud.

• Reaffirm your goals in writing or aloud.

• Practice yoga, meditation, or prayer.

• Watch a sunrise.

• Visualize good things happening in your day.

• Recite affirmations or a mantra.

Build in food treats. Whatever food you reach for in times of stress probably has some special meaning to you. Is it chocolate, macaroni and cheese, pizza, or hot-from-the-oven cookies? Whatever it is, be sure to have some now and then. Not as a reward, but simply because you like the way it tastes. Practice enjoying this favorite food in a reasonable amount, perhaps as part of a balanced meal. Simply removing a food’s taboo label can be helpful. In this way, you are learning that it’s okay to treat yourself and removing the notion of treats as cheats. We all deserve treats, but cheat days are the wrong mindset.

Create a personal wellness vision and review it often. A personal wellness vision is a concrete and motivating picture of you being healthy, feeling healthy, and living a healthful life. Imagine yourself at your ideal level of well-being. How do you feel? Look? Act? Write down what this looks like for you. This vision will help you identify what is important to you.

“After creating your vision, be sure to regularly look it over! It’s easy to forget what really matters when you’re under stress or running in crisis mode. But knowing—and remembering—what’s really important steers you to appropriate actions.”

“Reaching for food to manage your emotions can be a very hard habit to break,” concludes Weisenberger. “Become aware of times when you look to food to soothe you, calm you down, or help you avoid your feelings. When you recognize that you’ve been eating with your emotions, you can change the behavior and continue striving toward your health goals.”

You can visit Jill Weisenberger’s website here

MENTALLIGENCE: A New Psychology of Thinking 

As the headlines warn of a world seemingly taking steps backward, behavioral scientist Dr. Kristen Lee shares a new psychology of thinking to move you forward with a new mindset and patterns of behaviors that inspire connection, collaboration, proactivity, and creativity.

Based on twenty years of clinical practice and neuroscientific research, Dr. Kristen Lee teaches us how to see the world―and its most difficult situations―through a series of different lenses, to steer our brains to cultivate “upward spiral habits.” This is what psychologists call “The Good Life”—living mindfully and consciously regardless of what is going on around us. Instead of falling into common behavioral traps which lead to perpetual patterns of shutting down, numbing out, binding up, and staying stuck.

MENTALLIGENCE: A New Psychology of Thinking helps us find the thinking and behavioral agility to work toward better outcomes for all.

* Rethink the many forms of social conditioning to reduce mindlessness, ignorance, and compulsions towards insularity, hatred, bias, and fear.

• Advance human progress through empathy, curiosity, familiarity, and unconditional regard.

* Avoid the 4 common downward spiral behavioral traps: Sleepwalking, Perfectionism, Centricism, and Lockdown.

* Learn how to become impact-driven instead of performance-obsessed.

* Discover how to work with “collective efficacy” that is less I-focused and more we-focused, to facilitate positive social impact at a time when it’s desperately needed.

• Refuse to be held hostage by bigotry, ignorance and polarization, and instead link arms in solidarity to find common ground and get to the Good Life together.

About the Author:

Dr. Kristen Lee, EdD, LICSW, is a recovering perfectionist and clinician, researcher, educator and activist with twenty-two years of experience. She is lead faculty for Behavioral Science at Northeastern University in Boston and author of Indie Book Award’s 2015 Motivational Book of the Year, Reset: Make the Most of Your Stress. To learn more follow on social media (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat).

Available wherever books are sold or to order directly from the publisher contact:

(800) 441-5569 or www.hcibooks.com.

MENTALLIGENCE: A New Psychology of Thinking

Kristen Lee, EdD, LICSW

February 2018

ISBN-13: 9780757320576

$15.95

PRINCE

The Prince Estate, alongside Pantone Color Institute™, the global color authority, announced today the creation of a standardized custom color to represent and honor international icon, Prince. The (naturally) purple hue, represented by his “Love Symbol #2” was inspired by his custom-made Yamaha purple piano, which was originally scheduled to go on tour with the performer before his untimely passing at the age of 57. The color pays tribute to Prince’s indelible mark on music, art, fashion and culture. The announcement was first made on Refinery29, read here

Prince’s association with the color purple was galvanized in 1984 with the release of the film Purple Rain, along with its Academy Award-winning soundtrack featuring the eponymous song. While the spectrum of the color purple will still be used in respect to the “Purple One,” Love Symbol #2, will be the official color across the brand he left behind.

 
“The color purple was synonymous with who Prince was and will always be. This is an incredible way for his legacy to live on forever,” said Troy Carter, Entertainment Advisor to Prince’s Estate.

 
The ‘Purple One’ made a statement and challenged cultural norms through both his well-known music and personal style. In addition to the Oscar, Prince won seven Grammy Awards and a Golden Globe Award for Purple Rain. Both “Purple Rain” and “1999” were entered into the Grammy Hall of Fame, and Prince was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2004, the very first year he was eligible.

 
Laurie Pressman, Vice President of the Pantone Color Institute said: “We are honored to have worked on the development of Love Symbol #2, a distinctive new purple shade created in memory of Prince, ‘the purple one.’ A musical icon known for his artistic brilliance, Love Symbol #2 is emblematic of Prince’s distinctive style. Long associated with the purple family, Love Symbol #2 enables Prince’s unique purple shade to be consistently replicated and maintain the same iconic status as the man himself.”

 
The Estate is in conversation with various partners about collaboration on products that incorporate the custom color.

        

 

About Prince

Prince endures as one of the most important, influential, and impactful artists in history. Selling 100 million records worldwide, he remains one of the best-selling artists of all time. A 2004 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductee, he garnered a 1985 Academy Award® in the category of “Best Original Song Score” for the film Purple Rain, a total of seven GRAMMY Awards®, a 2006 Golden Globe Award for “Best Original Song” in Happy Feet, and an American Music Award, among countless other accolades. He holds #27 on Rolling Stone’s list of the 100 Greatest Artists. 1984’s Purple Rain remains a high watermark for Prince, changing the worlds of film and music. Minted Diamond by the RIAA for sales exceeding 13 million, the record stands out as the sixth best-selling soundtrack album in history, moving more than 22 million copies. 

 
Known for his marathon shows, he delivered countless historic performances such as the Super Bowl XLI Halftime Show. Enchanting the modern era, he headlined festivals such as Coachella and Montreux Jazz Festival in addition to selling out arenas and stadiums everywhere. Along the way, he collaborated with everyone from Michael Jackson, James Brown, Beyoncé and Amy Winehouse to Tom Petty, Madonna, and Mary J. Blige. In 2016, Prince passed, but his spirit continued to shine in the hearts and minds of fans worldwide. President Barack Obama lauded his legacy as his music blared from every corner of the globe. Ushering his talent to the forefront of the digital age for a new generation, Warner Bros. Records along with NPG Records re-introduced some of his legendary catalog to streaming platforms in early 2017. 

 

About Pantone Color Institute™

Pantone Color Institute™ is the consulting arm within Pantone that forecasts global color trends, advises companies on color in brand identity and product development, and on color assurance programs.
Through seasonal trend forecasts, color psychology, and custom color consulting, Pantone Color Institute partners with global brands to leverage the power, psychology and emotion of color in their design strategy.

 

About Pantone

Pantone, a wholly owned subsidiary of X-Rite, Incorporated, enables color-critical decisions for brands and manufacturers to ensure the color imagined is the color achieved.

 
Over 10 million designers and producers around the world employ Pantone products and services to communicate through color, and control consistency across various materials and finishes. 

Pantone offers designers, and design-minded consumers, products and services through three unique business divisions: Pantone Standards, which includes digital and physical workflow tools and the revolutionary Pantone color language; trend forecasting, brand identity, and color assurance consulting services through Pantone Color Institute™; and Pantone Lifestyle, the consumer products division that brings color and design together across apparel, home, and accessories.

 
More information is available at www.pantone.com.

 
For the latest news, trends, information and conversations, connect with Pantone on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.