Posts tagged with "destructive"

5 Quick & Easy Dog Training Tips

Everyone wants a dog they can communicate with. A dog that you give a simple instruction, and watch it obey. It’s not just for fun but also to make your dog behave accordingly. Some dogs like the security ones are trained and aren’t the same as balanced dogs. It’s your responsibility to train your dog while overseeing its growth from a puppy to an adult dog. You should start with dog obedience training which consists of a few basic commands. Here are five quick and easy dog training tips.

1. Create a Puppy-proof in Your House

Every time a puppy is alone or is not under supervision, he should be in a safe place far from trouble. Imagine coming back home and finding your TV screen on the floor broken, your leather seats torn, and your kitchen looking like you have just been burglarized. Prevent that from happening.

Create a room for your pup and provide any safe toys he/she can play with and chew. Just like you wouldn’t give a toddler total freedom, puppies require the same restriction. You will be preventing accidents and destructive behavior. It ensures your pup doesn’t develop an awkward behavior.

2. Don’t Sleep with Him in Your Bed

It can be tough for you, and we understand. They are part of the family, and there should be no such limits, but allowing your dog to share a bed with you will give him mixed thoughts, and he will be wondering what role he plays.

Allowing him to share the same bed with you will make your dog see himself as your equal, and no reason to respect you. If you insist on allowing him on to your bed, make it an invitation only. Show him that he is not allowed into your bed unless he is invited.

3. Create Short Sessions Throughout The Day

Training is not a one-time thing. If it were, you wouldn’t spend all those years in college. The only way your dog will learn is through undergoing extensive training for a long time with short sessions in between the day. If you find it hard to dedicate some hours each day, enroll in dog training programs with Wag Hotels, and they will educate and train your dog professionally while you are away.

However, if you have the time, train your dog in short snippets. You will be able to notice when the dog is more alert and take advantage rather than wasting your time and annoying your dog by forcing him to learn. Besides, short sessions are easier to manage especially if you have a busy schedule.

4. Be Generous with Your Affection

Most people will mention when they are unhappy with their dogs, but sometimes they ignore the good stuff. As much as you are disappointed with its bad behavior, appreciate its good side as well. Just like we humans, dogs can have best or worst moments.

Ensure that you give your dog the attention it deserves when he’s doing the right stuff. Appreciate and let him know that he has behaved well. Be generous with your words and praise him. Give him some little pats and treats to show that you appreciate.

5. Give Your Dog a Daily Exercise

Just like humans, dogs need plenty of exercise and stimulation on a daily basis to cheer them up and keep them active. One or two walks per day are not enough for your pet especially if it’s a herder or retriever.

Lack of exercise and stimulation can make your dog, bored, unhappy, or unhealthy. In fact, many destructive and aggressive behaviors from dogs are due to lack of exercise and stimulation. A bored dog would find something interesting to do, like messing up your stuff.

Conclusion

When it comes to training your on-four best friend, you have to work hard and exercise patience. It also requires lots of dedication. Training your dog creates a stronger bond, and you can all have fun as long as you treat him/her right and show love.

Handling Your Anger

5 STEPS TO UNDERSTANDING YOUR ANGER AND HANDLING IT EFFECTIVELY IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Anger can be a normal and healthy emotion. So why is it often so problematic? Here are a few signs that your anger may be harmful rather than helpful:

  • I’m often told I have a “bad temper”
  • Others distance themselves from me when I’m angry
  • Expressing anger leads to fighting
  • I don’t feel understood when I’m angry

Let’s take some time to understand anger in a different way.

As normal and as common as anger is, the emotion is frequently misunderstood and mishandled. In today’s day and age, we are taught that we are supposed to let others know exactly how we feel, which can be helpful at times; however, expressing anger is complicated for two main reasons. First, because it is often a secondary emotion, meaning that people often use anger to mask more vulnerable feelings such as hurt disappointment or fear. These feelings may be frightening because they can leave us feeling weak and helpless. This may cause us to resort to showing anger instead so that we can maintain a sense of control. Second, anger can be problematic because expressing anger, in the wrong way, can trigger fear, defensiveness and anger in the recipient. This may cause the other person to begin to protect him or herself instead of trying to understand you.

So What Is Anger?

In its purest form, anger can be a natural response to feeling purposely violated or wronged in some way. When we believe that someone has intentionally violated us, anger can give us the energy to stand up for ourselves. However, the way in which we understand and express our anger can either cause constructive or destructive results.

If expressing anger leaves you feeling misunderstood, or others feeling hurt, angry or shut down, these tips may help.

1. TAKE A MOMENT TO BREATHE

When you notice that you are feeling angry, slowing down your breath can give you a sense of self-control and peace. This will give you time and space to think about your process so that you don’t go on autopilot. If you feel tension in a particular part of your body, breathe relaxation into it.    

2. NOTICE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING

Notice the thoughts that are passing through your mind and the emotions in your body. Is there a tinge of sadness or fear? Are you longing for something? Do you need reassurance? Because many people fear that the other person won’t be there for them in the way they need, these softer feelings often get ignored.  

3. DISCUSS YOUR CONCERNS

Let the other person know that you have some apprehension about sharing your feelings because you fear that he or she won’t be receptive. For example, you may say something like “It’s hard for me to tell you what I need because I think you will judge me.” Once this is in the open, discuss this with the other person until you feel safe enough to share your more vulnerable feelings.

4. BE WILLING TO ADDRESS THE SOFTER FEELINGS

Acknowledging feelings such as loneliness and the desire for acceptance and appreciation can trigger feelings of vulnerability. However, expressing these feelings can connect you to others. When you let someone know your needs, if the dynamic is healthy, the other person will likely try to understand them and help search for a viable solution.

5. BE SOLUTION ORIENTED

Think about your intentions. What are you trying to accomplish by addressing your anger with others? Are you trying to hurt them in the same way you believe they hurt you? If so, this can feed into a destructive pattern of fractured relationships. On the other hand, if your goal is to resolve the issue so that you can build trust and harmony with the other person, then addressing your anger can be helpful. See my blog on Conflict Resolution for detailed steps on how to address conflict.

Understanding and addressing your anger in a way that restores harmony in your relationships can be easy when we focus on the right thing. Call me today for a free consultation so that I can help you change your relationship with anger from one that is harmful to one that creates peace.

 

About Dr. Crystal Clements:

Dr. Crystal Clements is an adjunct professor and registered psychological assistant who practices in Downtown Los Angeles at Sync Counseling Center. She works with adults, adolescents, couples and families to treat depression, anxiety, grief, trauma, and relational issues. She loves what she does and is passionate about helping people feel good about themselves and life. Dr. Crystal earned a PhD in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Family Studies and MAs in Psychology and Christian Leadership from the Fuller Graduate School of Psychology. She earned a BA in Communications from the University of Pennsylvania. As part of her training, she completed an APA accredited internship in Health Service Psychology at California State University, Fullerton.

Contact her today for a free 15 minute consultation!