Posts tagged with "depression"

Sober Houses and the Path to Recovery

The Truth About Sober Houses and the Path to Recovery

by Mallory Neuberger

Wendy Williams made headlines last week when she revealed that she’s living in a sober house; but less than one week later she left work, checked out of the facility, and went on to drink alcohol until she was hospitalized. So, what went wrong?

Sobriety is not something that we can pay for. As a recovering cocaine addict, I had to admit that I was an addict and that I was ready for a drug free life. In essence, I had to hit my bottom. Some people die before they find the willingness to get sober. Others need to end up in prison, homeless, or selling their bodies and souls to feed their disease. And many, like myself, don’t lost their homes, cars, jobs or families, but find themselves spiritually void and miserable, with their drug of choice no longer providing the relief that it once had.

Wendy Williams is going through difficulties in her marriage. Her husband is rumored to be cheating on her, and his mistress is pregnant. Despite appearing on television daily, living in a sober house, and paying a sober coach to keep tabs on her 24/7, she still couldn’t handle her heartbreak and to alcohol to numb her pain. The next day she was back on TV. In my opinion, she isn’t ready.

Ethical sober houses keep residents safe by breathalyzing and drug testing them. They have guidelines to provide structure, including curfews, chore checks, and mandatory attendance at 12-step meetings like A.A. or N.A. There are organizations that certify sober houses as good operators, so it’s important to be sure that you are choosing a place that truly has the residents’ best interests at heart.

Sober houses offer a sense of community. They are filled with residents and staff who are all trying to stay sober and meet life head on. There is always someone to talk to, so we are never alone. In my sober houses we emphasize healthy living, encouraging good eating habits and exercise. We practice yoga and we meditate together. We offer fellowship where we eat, laugh, play games, make crafts, listen to music, and sit by the pool. We celebrate together, helping one another get through birthdays, holidays and anniversaries without picking up. We are houses filled with sober women and we are like a big family filled with surrogate mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends. We cry together, and more importantly, we laugh.

Putting down drugs and alcohol seemed like the only way I could live, but what kind of a life was it going to be? I feared that I would be socially awkward without my expensive wines or a frozen margarita with salt. I didn’t think I would be able to stay awake without my beloved cocaine. I was losing my best friends – drugs and alcohol – how would I ever have fun again?

The sheer happiness that I have found as a sober woman is greater than any high that I ever experienced. I wake up every morning without a hangover or user’s remorse. I dance whenever and wherever I can, even while trying on clothes in stores, or at parties where nobody else has hit the dance floor. I run by the beach, singing out loud, without worrying that I may die of a stroke due to last night’s excesses. I practice yoga and can actually “be” on the mat for ninety minutes, breathing freely through my once stuffed nostrils.

I have a disease, and that disease is called addiction. I am no longer ashamed and hiding behind it. Addiction is not a weakness or a character defect. It is a debilitating disease without a medicine to cure it. Money cannot buy my recovery, but working a daily program can keep me sober, one day at a time. Every day I go to a 12-step meeting. I remind myself that I’m an addict in recovery and I reset my brain and ask for the strength to remain sober just for today. I am of service to others in recovery, showing them that this simple program works. It isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it. My worst day sober is always better than my best day high, because I am authentic and free and living the very best version of myself. I hope that Wendy Williams hits her bottom soon, and without any terrible consequences. I would love her to live in one of my sober houses.

About Mallory Neuberger

Mallory Neuberger, MS, CRRA, author of Sober.House (My Story), is the executive director of The Frog Pad, a safe and structured holistic healing house for women in recovery from drugs and alcohol. After struggling with her own addiction, Neuberger has dedicated her life to helping others find sobriety, volunteering at drug recovery centers including Hazelden IOP, The Addiction Institute in NYC, Gods Love We Deliver, and soup kitchens. She was also employed at Behavior Health of the Palm Beaches before opening her first sober house.

Supermarket Soundtrack

LOGIC “DIVES INTO NEW GENRES” WITH SURPRISE RELEASE OF MELODIC SOUNDTRACK TO HIS DEBUT NOVEL “SUPERMARKET”

ORDER THE BOOK & LISTEN TO THE SOUNDTRACK HERE!

LOGIC EMPLOYS GUITAR-DRIVEN, LIVE BAND SOUND ON MELODIC NEW SOUNDTRACK, TEAMS WITH MAC DEMARCO ON SEVERAL TRACKS

“I wanted to use my novel as an opportunity to challenge myself musically diving into a completely new genre”

“Bobby Hall has crafted a mind-bending first novel, with prose that is just as fierce and moving as his lyrics. Supermarket is like Naked Lunch meets One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest—if they met at Fight Club.” —Ernest Cline, #1 New York Times Bestselling author of Ready Player One

From one of the greatest creative voices of this generation, Bobby Hall—aka Logic, the Grammy-nominated and platinum-selling recording artist—comes a dazzling debut novel: SUPERMARKET (Simon & Schuster; Publication Date: March 26, 2019). With this publication, Bobby Hall proves that his incredible artistic talents extend far beyond the walls of a recording studio.SUPERMARKET is a fresh, funny, and deliciously dark thriller that stands on its own as a propulsive and entertaining excursion into madness and creativity.

SUPERMARKET opens with Flynn: depressed, recently dumped, and living at his mom’s house. When he gets a job at Muldoon’s, the local supermarket, he hopes that his boring suburban existence will get a spark of inspiration. A diverse group of eccentric coworkers await him. As Flynn gets accustomed to his new gig and makes some friends, his creative juices start to bubble again—just what he needed to jumpstart his novel based on the people he meets on the job. He even finds himself falling for a colleague who may restore his faith in love.

When Flynn arrives at work one day to a crime scene, he discovers that nothing about the supermarket is what it appeared to be, and the secrets of his tortured mind are revealed as his world collapses. Something seems to be after him at the supermarket, but Flynn isn’t sure that he wants to confront it.

Crackling with dark humor, extraordinary twists, and larger than life characters, SUPERMARKET is a compulsively readable thriller with echoes of work by Quentin Tarantino, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. Bobby Hall flexes his tirelessly creative muscles to create a world that feels so real, you believe you can reach out and touch it. Who knew that you could find sex, drugs, and murder all in aisle nine?

About the Author

Bobby Hall a.k.a. Logic, the Grammy-nominated, platinum-selling recording artist, quickly established himself as one of the most original young stars in music. Through a streak of hit records, Logic has cemented his status as one of the greatest MCs at work, hailed for his lyricism, cinematic storytelling, and inspiring message of peace, love, and positivity. His music touches on societal issues that affect us all, including anxiety, depression, and race. SUPERMARKET is his first novel.

Mental Health Awareness

Mental Health Awareness Days Approaching: April is Stress Awareness Month | May is Mental Health Month

May 7th is National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day

Expert Offers Six Tips for Dealing with Panic Attacks; Dr. Lata McGinn, Cognitive Behavioral Consultants, White Plains and NYC

A panic attack is a sudden, intense episode of fear or dread accompanied by physical symptoms such as pounding heart, sweating, trembling or shaking, lightheadedness, feeling faint, shortness of breath, choking sensations, nausea, abdominal distress, chest pain, cold and hot chills, numbness and tingling, feelings of being detached or things seeming unreal. Individuals with panic disorder fear that they are going to die, go crazy, or lose control. They then begin to fear getting future attacks and will often change their behaviors to ward off panic attacks; a disorder called agoraphobia.

Tip 1: The first thing to remember is that a panic attack is an emotional alarm that is meant to protect us not harm us. Panic attacks, although unpleasant to experience, are not dangerous. Biologically, a panic attack is the fight-flight response or your body’s mechanism designed to protect you from danger.  It is called the fight-flight response because it helps you fight or flee the danger to protect us. If you are in danger, the fight-flight response would create fear and release adrenalin and create an automatic response in us to take immediate action (attack or run). In panic attacks the fight-flight response kicks in even though you are not in any danger.

Tip 2: Panic attacks usually begin right after a stressful life event so focus on dealing with the stress you are under rather than trying to stop the panic attack.

Tip 3: Fearing that panic will harm you ironically only makes you have more panic attacks – your brain thinks you are in danger when you become afraid of panic attacks so the only thing it knows to do to protect you is to give you more panic attacks. Tell yourself you are not in danger and that it is just a harmless panic attack and that it will go away on its own without you doing anything to stop it.

Tip 4: Trying to stop a panic attack in the middle of an episode is not helpful because you are inadvertently telling your brain that you are in danger even though you are not. Letting the panic attack ride over you until it washes away and not changing your behavior to avoid it or escape it is the best thing you can do. Over time, your brain will learn that you are not in danger and the panic attacks will reduce over time.

Tip 5: Deep, slow breathing exercises (slow, diaphragmatic breathing) that helps regulate oxygen and carbon dioxide can be calming and may be helpful to do regularly as a way of calming your over-anxious state in general. However, it is wise not to use it to stop a panic that you are afraid to have in the moment as it likely won’t work anyway and it will also inadvertently convince your brain that you are in danger.

Tip 6: It is best to first to go to a medical doctor when you have your first attack to make sure it isn’t anything like a thyroid condition etc. Once the doctor rules out any physical basis for panic attacks, it is best to not keep going back and taking unnecessary medical tests over and over again. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be effective in treating panic disorder and agoraphobia. First, individuals are educated about panic attacks and the physical symptoms of anxiety and fear that are experienced.  Second, they are trained on how examine and change their unhelpful thoughts and beliefs that lead to panic attacks in real time. In addition, individuals are trained to reduce physical tension, and are then exposed to physical sensations of panic and to feared and avoided situations and sensations until the person realizes they are not dangerous. Repeated exposure helps to reduce the fear induced by these situations and teaches the person that the sensations experienced are not dangerous. When the fear of the physical sensations is reduced, future panic attacks are reduced.

Dr. Lata K. McGinn

Lata K. McGinn, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of Cognitive Behavioral Consultants. She is also a tenured Professor of Psychology, Director of the Doctoral Clinical Program, and Director of the University-based Cognitive Behavior Therapy Training Program for Anxiety and Depressive Disorders at the Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology, Yeshiva University/Albert Einstein College of Medicine.

Dr. McGinn presents her research worldwide and is regularly invited to conduct keynotes, lectures, seminars and workshops throughout the world to professionals, consumers, schools, agencies, and companies. Her research focuses on vulnerability and prevention of anxiety and depressive disorders. She has recently developed an intervention to prevent the development of depression and has tested the efficacy of this intervention in a NIH funded research study.

About Cognitive & Behavioral Consultants, LLP

CBC is a clinical and training center comprised of internationally recognized mental health professionals who have researched, pioneered, and are highly experienced in delivering cutting edge evidence-based treatments that help adults, adolescents, and children live more fulfilled lives. Founded in 2004 by Drs. Lata K. McGinn and Alec L. Miller, leaders in the fields of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, the CBC team provides a large array of Clinical and Wellness services to the public, provides Custom Designed Programs for schools, agencies, and businesses, and conducts Continuing Education for Professionals in the field of psychology throughout the year. More information can be found here.

“Depression: A Guide to Recovery” Dr Sarmila Sinha

Depression: A Guide to Recovery – Psychiatrist’s Ground-Breaking, Empowering Book Demystifies Depression

Dr Sarmila Sinha’s ‘Depression: A Guide to Recovery’ is an uplifting and actionable guide to the symptoms, causes, treatment and management of depression – possibly the world’s most common yet misunderstood condition. Crammed with relatable case studies, Dr. Sinha ensures anyone with a mood disorder is pulled out of the dark and into a place of power, hope and the understanding that their depression far from defines them.

 United Kingdom – A staggering 15% of the world’s adult population will experience some form of depression in their lifetime yet, considering its epidemic prevalence, depression and associated mood disorders retain a dangerous stigma and disappointing lack of common knowledge. Dr Sarmila Sinha has spent her career specializing in the treatment of mental illness in the general adult population and, in her new book, hands depression sufferers a vital lifeline. ‘Depression: A Guide to Recovery’ does exactly as it says on the cover, without judgment, with dignity and in a way anyone can action.

 Depression: A Guide to Recovery is a comprehensive step by step guide to recognising depression, a common mental health condition. This book uses case examples to provide in-depth information on how to recognise the warning signs of depression, what the possible causes are, how to seek help and the different treatment options. In the modern day society, where people lead busy lives, we have a tendency to neglect our mental and emotional well-being. Within the pages of this book, you will find incredible advice on everything from coping with stress, to the early signs of depression. Using her years of experience, Dr Sarmila Sinha has created a ground-breaking and thoughtful guide, that will provide essential advice to anyone suffering from mental health issues. If you are struggling with low mood, stress or relationship difficulties, Depression: A Guide to Recovery is the ultimate resource to improve your wellbeing, and start living a happier life.

“My goal was to create a resource that gets right to the point, and reaches out to people in despair, in a way that’s comfortable and comforting,” explains the author. “From how they’re feeling inside, to available treatments and even how they can discuss the issues with their family to maximize love and support – it’s all in this book.”

 Continuing, “All of the information is based on hard evidence, and I illustrate as much as is practical with case studies and real-world examples. It’s also of course a vital guide for carers who are unsure of how to best provide care for someone living with a mental health condition, and ensure they themselves remain aware of their wellbeing.”

 ‘Depression: A Guide to Recovery’ is available now: https://www.livinglifestressfree.com.

 Also available on Amazon

 Listen to the author’s podcast, here

 About the Author: Dr Sarmila Sinha, MBBS, MRCPsych, MSc is a Consultant Psychiatrist practising in the UK. She specialises in the treatment of mental illness in the general adult population. She has been a Health and Well-Being Ambassador for doctors at a London NHS Trust. Her special interests include stress among professionals and stigma in mental health.

Logic Set To Debut Novel

LOGIC RELEASES THE TITLE TRACK FROM HIS FORTHCOMING SIXTH STUDIO ALBUM

“CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND”

EXPLOSIVE VIRAL VIDEO RACKS UP 4+MM SOCIAL VIEWS IN 24 HOURS

LISTEN HERE!

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE!

LOGIC SET TO DROP HIS DEBUT NOVEL “SUPERMARKET” NEXT WEEK!

On Sale March 26, 2019

“Bobby Hall has crafted a mind-bending first novel, with prose that is just as fierce and moving as his lyrics. Supermarket is like Naked Lunch meets One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest—if they met at Fight Club.” —Ernest Cline, #1 New York Times Bestselling author of Ready Player One

From one of the greatest creative voices of this generation, Bobby Hall—aka Logic, the Grammy-nominated and platinum-selling recording artist—comes a dazzling debut novel: SUPERMARKET (Simon & Schuster; Publication Date: March 26, 2019). With this publication, Bobby Hall proves that his incredible artistic talents extend far beyond the walls of a recording studio.

SUPERMARKET is a fresh, funny, and deliciously dark thriller that stands on its own as a propulsive and entertaining excursion into madness and creativity.

SUPERMARKET opens with Flynn: depressed, recently dumped, and living at his mom’s house. When he gets a job at Muldoon’s, the local supermarket, he hopes that his boring suburban existence will get a spark of inspiration. A diverse group of eccentric coworkers await him. As Flynn gets accustomed to his new gig and makes some friends, his creative juices start to bubble again—just what he needed to jumpstart his novel based on the people he meets on the job. He even finds himself falling for a colleague who may restore his faith in love.

When Flynn arrives at work one day to a crime scene, he discovers that nothing about the supermarket is what it appeared to be, and the secrets of his tortured mind are revealed as his world collapses. Something seems to be after him at the supermarket, but Flynn isn’t sure that he wants to confront it.

Crackling with dark humor, extraordinary twists, and larger than life characters, SUPERMARKET is a compulsively readable thriller with echoes of work by Quentin Tarantino, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut. Bobby Hall flexes his tirelessly creative muscles to create a world that feels so real, you believe you can reach out and touch it. Who knew that you could find sex, drugs, and murder all in aisle nine?

About the Author

Bobby Hall a.k.a. Logic, the Grammy-nominated, platinum-selling recording artist, quickly established himself as one of the most original young stars in music. Through a streak of hit records, Logic has cemented his status as one of the greatest MCs at work, hailed for his lyricism, cinematic storytelling, and inspiring message of peace, love, and positivity. His music touches on societal issues that affect us all, including anxiety, depression, and race. SUPERMARKET is his first novel.

Follow Logic on Social Media

Twitter I Facebook I Spotify I Instagram

“Two Reasons Why I Won’t Report My Child Abuse”

Excerpt from The Teenage and Young Adult Survival Handbook By Steve Simpson

“The first reason is I know that I could be better in school. I know I mess up at home. The clothes I wear. The way I have my hair. The attitude I have. The trouble that I get in. I bring it on myself. If I were a better person these things probably wouldn’t happen to me. Ever since I can remember, I have been told by my parents that all the problems at home are my fault. People have it worse than I do.” These are the thoughts of many who are being abused and the first reasons why they won’t report it.

What I discovered was that even children who do fantastic in school, never get in any trouble, and do everything “right” still get abused by their parents or abusive adults in their home. Their parents even called them the same names as me and they were model children. I’ve found it has nothing to do with the way I act at all. It has nothing to do with who I was. It has nothing to do with the children. It has to do with the adults. Child abuse and discipline have nothing to do with each other. People who abuse children do it because of their own sickness, be it alcoholism, drug abuse or other problems they have.

“I knew my father or my mother’s boyfriend had no right to abuse me but I always felt that my mother would get in trouble for it.” This is the thought of many abuse victims and the second reason why they don’t report it. Even though they are getting abused they still try to protect the non-abusing/co-dependent parent. What I offer to those children is you would not so much be getting your parent in trouble, but you would be getting them help. Most authorities get them to go to therapy, which would stop that parent from allowing abuse to themselves and others in the future, therefore making their life better. So by protecting yourself you’re actually not getting anyone in trouble but protecting them and getting them help as well. Even the abusive adult could end up getting help as a result of you reporting it. Nobody should abuse you, period!

If you are being abused in any way, sometimes the abuse looks like it’s becoming less frequent. Don’t be fooled by this. It could suddenly pick up again and get worse. It will not stop unless you do something to stop it. Speak to a teacher, guidance counselor, school social worker or psychologist. Counselors from community centers and sometimes even people from local churches will know what to do and how to get you help. You can call Child Protective Services for your local area. Nobody should be abused in any way. You are no exception. You are worth getting help.

Approximately 5 children die a day as a result of child abuse. For those who suspect child abuse whether it be a relative or neighbor, it always amazes me how people will call 911 simply because someone parked in the wrong spot or put the garbage out on the wrong night, yet they won’t get “involved” in possibly saving a child’s life or at a minimum their childhood (not to mention the problems they will have as an adult as a result of their abuse). As responsible people we are already “involved”.

If you suspect child abuse it probably does exist. Don’t make excuses or protect and enable the abuser. Protect who you are supposed to protect, the children.

 

About Steve Simpson
Steve Simpson is a child advocate, child abuse survivor and media commentator who just released The Teenage and Young Adult Survival Handbook — a small guide that is modestly tucked inside in all four of his YA adventure novels which covers most of the topics plaguing young people today—suicide, bullying, sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, self-worth, being the child of an addict, living in a dysfunctional home, surviving school and more. Simpson was even recognized by President Barack Obama, former New York governor David Paterson and the County Executive of Nassau County for his efforts on behalf of abused children.

 

Parkinsons and Medical Marijuana

Parkinson’s Foundation Hosts Its First-Ever Medical Marijuana and Parkinson’s Disease Conference

The Parkinson’s Foundation will host its first-ever conference focused on medical marijuana and Parkinson’s disease (PD) in Denver, CO, March 6-7, 2019.

The Parkinson’s Foundation is bringing together experts from across the globe to discuss the implications and recommendations of medical marijuana use for people with Parkinson’s,” said James Beck, PhD, chief scientific officer of the Parkinson’s Foundation. “Now that medical marijuana is legal in 31 states and in many other countries, people are equating access to efficacy. It is imperative that we address the clinical implications of medical marijuana use among people with PD.”

The goal of the conference is to bring together a diverse group of experts from academia, clinics, industry, government and the Parkinson’s community to establish a consensus on medical marijuana use in PD. The conference will address the potential benefits and risks of medical marijuana for people with PD, potential delivery methods, safety considerations, approval as a therapeutic for PD patients, and areas for more rigorous clinical research.

“Having worked as a clinician for the past decade in Colorado, a state at the forefront of medical marijuana use, it is clear that people with PD and their families are intensely interested in the potential of marijuana and cannabinoids in helping manage symptoms and other aspects of their disease,” said Benzi Kluger, MD, MS, associate professor of University of Colorado Hospital and co-chair of the conference. “To date, there is more hype than actual data to provide meaningful clinical information to patients with PD. There is a critical need to analyze existing data on medical marijuana and to set priorities for future research.”

Recent results from a survey conducted by the Parkinson’s Foundation and Northwestern University, a Parkinson’s Foundation Center of Excellence, found that:

  • 80% of patients with PD have used cannabis
  • 23% of doctors received formal education on medical marijuana
  • 95% of neurologists have been asked to prescribe medical marijuana

People with PD and their physicians are looking to answer whether medical marijuana can help manage PD symptoms. Few clinical studies have enrolled people with PD to investigate the effects of medical marijuana on PD symptoms. There is currently no conclusive scientific research supporting the benefits of medical marijuana for PD, however, anecdotal evidence suggests that it may help manage Parkinson’s symptoms such as pain, sleep, appetite, nausea and anxiety.

“In order to move the field forward, we need to determine which cannabinoids are likely to be beneficial or harmful, whether people with PD are at risk from side effects, what we are hoping to treat, and how to conduct informative clinical trials,” said A. Jon Stoessl, MD, co-director of the Djavad Mowafaghian Centre for Brain Health at the University of British Columbia, and co-chair of the conference.

The conference is invitation-only. In addition to Parkinson’s specialists, select Parkinson’s advocates living with PD will be invited to provide their perspective. The Foundation will publish suggested practices and areas for further research following the conference.

For more information on medical marijuana and PD, call our Helpline, 1-800-4PD-INFO (473-4636) or visit Parkinson.org/Marijuana.

About the Parkinson’s Foundation
The Parkinson’s Foundation makes life better for people with Parkinson’s disease by improving care and advancing research toward a cure. In everything we do, we build on the energy, experience and passion of our global Parkinson’s community. For more information, visit www.parkinson.org or call (800) 4PD-INFO (473-4636).

About Parkinson’s Disease
Affecting nearly one million Americans and 10 million worldwide, Parkinson’s disease is the second-most common neurodegenerative disease after Alzheimer’s and is the 14th-leading cause of death in the United States. It is associated with a progressive loss of motor control (e.g., shaking or tremor at rest and lack of facial expression), as well as non-motor symptoms (e.g., depression and anxiety). There is no cure for Parkinson’s and 60,000 new cases are diagnosed each year in the United States alone.

Handling Your Anger

5 STEPS TO UNDERSTANDING YOUR ANGER AND HANDLING IT EFFECTIVELY IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Anger can be a normal and healthy emotion. So why is it often so problematic? Here are a few signs that your anger may be harmful rather than helpful:

  • I’m often told I have a “bad temper”
  • Others distance themselves from me when I’m angry
  • Expressing anger leads to fighting
  • I don’t feel understood when I’m angry

Let’s take some time to understand anger in a different way.

As normal and as common as anger is, the emotion is frequently misunderstood and mishandled. In today’s day and age, we are taught that we are supposed to let others know exactly how we feel, which can be helpful at times; however, expressing anger is complicated for two main reasons. First, because it is often a secondary emotion, meaning that people often use anger to mask more vulnerable feelings such as hurt disappointment or fear. These feelings may be frightening because they can leave us feeling weak and helpless. This may cause us to resort to showing anger instead so that we can maintain a sense of control. Second, anger can be problematic because expressing anger, in the wrong way, can trigger fear, defensiveness and anger in the recipient. This may cause the other person to begin to protect him or herself instead of trying to understand you.

So What Is Anger?

In its purest form, anger can be a natural response to feeling purposely violated or wronged in some way. When we believe that someone has intentionally violated us, anger can give us the energy to stand up for ourselves. However, the way in which we understand and express our anger can either cause constructive or destructive results.

If expressing anger leaves you feeling misunderstood, or others feeling hurt, angry or shut down, these tips may help.

1. TAKE A MOMENT TO BREATHE

When you notice that you are feeling angry, slowing down your breath can give you a sense of self-control and peace. This will give you time and space to think about your process so that you don’t go on autopilot. If you feel tension in a particular part of your body, breathe relaxation into it.    

2. NOTICE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING

Notice the thoughts that are passing through your mind and the emotions in your body. Is there a tinge of sadness or fear? Are you longing for something? Do you need reassurance? Because many people fear that the other person won’t be there for them in the way they need, these softer feelings often get ignored.  

3. DISCUSS YOUR CONCERNS

Let the other person know that you have some apprehension about sharing your feelings because you fear that he or she won’t be receptive. For example, you may say something like “It’s hard for me to tell you what I need because I think you will judge me.” Once this is in the open, discuss this with the other person until you feel safe enough to share your more vulnerable feelings.

4. BE WILLING TO ADDRESS THE SOFTER FEELINGS

Acknowledging feelings such as loneliness and the desire for acceptance and appreciation can trigger feelings of vulnerability. However, expressing these feelings can connect you to others. When you let someone know your needs, if the dynamic is healthy, the other person will likely try to understand them and help search for a viable solution.

5. BE SOLUTION ORIENTED

Think about your intentions. What are you trying to accomplish by addressing your anger with others? Are you trying to hurt them in the same way you believe they hurt you? If so, this can feed into a destructive pattern of fractured relationships. On the other hand, if your goal is to resolve the issue so that you can build trust and harmony with the other person, then addressing your anger can be helpful. See my blog on Conflict Resolution for detailed steps on how to address conflict.

Understanding and addressing your anger in a way that restores harmony in your relationships can be easy when we focus on the right thing. Call me today for a free consultation so that I can help you change your relationship with anger from one that is harmful to one that creates peace.

 

About Dr. Crystal Clements:

Dr. Crystal Clements is an adjunct professor and registered psychological assistant who practices in Downtown Los Angeles at Sync Counseling Center. She works with adults, adolescents, couples and families to treat depression, anxiety, grief, trauma, and relational issues. She loves what she does and is passionate about helping people feel good about themselves and life. Dr. Crystal earned a PhD in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Family Studies and MAs in Psychology and Christian Leadership from the Fuller Graduate School of Psychology. She earned a BA in Communications from the University of Pennsylvania. As part of her training, she completed an APA accredited internship in Health Service Psychology at California State University, Fullerton.

Contact her today for a free 15 minute consultation!

 

Examining Concussions In Youth Sports

A recent article by Time Magazine cited that children who have been diagnosed with depression are more likely to suffer a concussion while playing youth sports. This correlation flips a common belief that athletes of all ages are more likely to experience symptoms of depression during and after suffering the effects of a concussion.

The article is just the latest in a string of new discoveries regarding brain injuries in American sports. Researchers from across the nation are looking at different angles in order to keep American athletes safer in the future. Consider that Philly.com reported that between 1.1 million and 1.9 million children and teens are treated for concussions caused by organized sports.

These numbers don’t tell the whole story as one of the links between depression and concussions is the fact that students who have suffered from depression are more in tune with their bodies. They are more likely to document the injury and speak up about an issue.

Not reporting a concussion can come from a fear of missing a game, school or after work job. It can also come from simply not understanding what is happening to a person’s body.  Concussion awareness is just as important as the equipment being used in the prevention and proper medical care after a concussion.

The Concussion Legacy Foundation has determined that at least 1 in 5 sports-related concussions are the result of a head impact with the playing field surface. The turf is the common culprit in all sports.

It’s why GreenPlay is helping athletes at all levels become safer through synthetic turfgrass technology. Turfgrass is the term used to describe engineered natural turf on playing fields. Pristine turfgrass is proven to be the benchmark for safety and performance. Compared to synthetic turf, turfgrass has shown to produce exceptional results under impact tests to access head injuries.

Owner of GreenPlay, Domenic Carapella, explains the impact pristine Turfgrass is making for athletes across the country saying, “Turfgrass helps lessen the harsh blows to the head and body that often happen during sports activities at all levels. When it comes to what we can control, the playing surface should be just as important as the equipment being worn.”

According to Greenplay Organics:

  • It’s important to discuss the issue of concussions in American youth sports in order to help drive change for the children of our country.
  • Pristine Turfgrass is the benchmark for the safest, high-performance playing surface.
  • Turfgrass is firm to run on, provides ideal traction and is resilient under bodily and head impacts.

5 Steps To Effective Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution can be hard because we often fear that the other person won’t be open to what we have to say. We may think the other person doesn’t care about how we feel, or that they just don’t have the capacity to understand. This may cause us to try to force our perspective on others or avoid conflict resolution altogether. Whether you find that you engage in frequent arguments that leave you feeling frustrated and alone, or you tend to suffer in silence by avoiding conflict altogether, these conflict resolution tips may work for you.

1. CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF.

Take a moment to breathe and notice the feelings in your body and the thoughts that are passing through your mind. Do you feel vulnerable? Are you angry? Do you feel a sense of heaviness? Don’t judge yourself; simply take note.

2. THINK ABOUT YOUR GOALS.

What do you want to achieve from the conversation? What do you really want from the other person? Be solution oriented. If you want to make the other person feel bad, things probably won’t go so well. On the other hand, if you want the other person to understand you so that your relationship will be more harmonious, then you’re on your way to effective conflict resolution.

3. SHARE YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

Here is where things become technical. Now that you know how you feel and what you want, it is helpful to be thoughtful about how you express yourself. It’s common to assume that because you and another person share an experience, you will both feel the same way about it. However, because of our unique upbringings and experiences, we all view things a little differently. In order to let the other person know you are open to hearing their perspective, it is helpful to use “I messages.” (add link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I-message) For example, instead of making a statement such as “you don’t care about me”, which could make the other person feel defensive, saying something such as “I felt like I didn’t matter to you when you didn’t call to check on me” lets the other person know how you interpreted their actions and gives them space to clarify their intentions.

4. USE NONJUDGMENTAL LANGUAGE

Think about what you find upsetting and describe it using descriptive, nonjudgmental language. For example, if you were offended because someone arrived late to a meeting, don’t say something like “You were inconsiderate or rude.” Try saying, “You were 15 minutes late, and it’s important that everyone arrive on time.”

5. CHECK IN WITH THE OTHER PERSON

Ask about how the other person experienced the situation. This gives the other person a chance to share his or her perspective, which may change your outlook. Continuing from the example above, in addition to saying , “You were 15 minutes late, and it’s important that everyone arrive on time,” you can check in with the other person by saying “Are you okay? Was there a reason you were late?”

While these steps seem simple, effective conflict resolution is a skill that takes time to develop. Incorporating these tips may feel difficult at times because they may trigger negative feelings that are rooted in the past. However, If you master these steps, you will find that your conversations will become more productive and you will be well on you way to building stronger and more meaningful connections with others.

About Dr. Crystal Clements:

Dr. Crystal Clements is an adjunct professor and registered psychological assistant who practices in Downtown Los Angeles at Sync Counseling Center. She works with adults, adolescents, couples and families to treat depression, anxiety, grief, trauma, and relational issues. She loves what she does and is passionate about helping people feel good about themselves and life. Dr. Crystal earned a PhD in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Family Studies and MAs in Psychology and Christian Leadership from the Fuller Graduate School of Psychology. She earned a BA in Communications from the University of Pennsylvania. As part of her training, she completed an APA accredited internship in Health Service Psychology at California State University, Fullerton.

Contact her today for a free 15 minute consultation!