Posts tagged with "breakups"

How do I start dating again?

You probably had high expectations for marriage but things happened,and you called it quits. It has been five years since you went on a date and are wondering can I date again. This is a question that many people who have gone through breakups, divorce or their partners have died often ask.

Certain aspects of dating have changed since over the years. Gone are the days when dating included coffee dates or meeting at the movies. We now have many online dating sites,and the probability of meeting someone online through various social media platforms is high.

If you plan on getting out there and dating there are several things that you need to consider.

List what you want from a partner

It is essential that you make a list of what you would like from a potential partner. While finding the perfect partner is a cliché there are qualities that you are not willing to compromise on. Your past relationships should guide you on what you do not want or what you liked. It is also vital that you stop comparing your future partner with your past. It is essential that you avoid people who are on drugs like tramadol addiction or alcoholism. This is because you do not want to deal with all the drama that comes with addictions too soon.

Have fun

Don’t be so engrossed in finding the right partner that you forget to have fun. Dating is supposed to be fun; look for activities that interest you and your partner. It is easier to fall in love when you are not so tense. Instead of this person being the perfect match try having fun without being judgmental. Avoid going to places that remind you of your ex; be creative and discover new places. The date does not have to be romantic and does not mind finding a new friend. You can choose to download one of the several dating apps available online. Look for one that is genuine and begin by creating friendships.

Work on yourself

Relationships can drain you and leave you with notime for yourself. This single period is the ideal time to finding and doing things that you are passionate about. You can decide to hit the gym and work out on your image. Do this for yourself and besides you might find someone new. As you invest more time inyourself, you find qualities about yourself that you have never discovered. Travel and expand your horizons, learn a new skill or language, take cooking lessons or simply change your wardrobe.

Change your attitude

A break up can change how you view relationships. You probably have negative preconceived ideas on different genders,or you probably have the attitude that all relationships hurt and lead to break up. It is good to take some time and grief your previous relationship. Find and focus on the positive. Avoid generalizations – what happened in the past is in the past. You have a high chance of finding love if you maintain the right attitude.

Do not be too “picky.”

There are those who approach a new relationship with a list of qualities that they are looking for; when you look at the list, you realize that it is impossible for one person to be that perfect. While we are not telling you’re to lower your expectations; we are encouraging you to be realistic about your expectations. Give people a chance and do not focus so much on their weakness. Not every person you come across will have the same qualities as your previous partner.

Take your time

Do not rush to get into a relationship. There can be pressure due to age to get married,but you need to go in your pace. Go for more dates and try different types of people. This will give you a wide variety of choices. Dating should be fun so relax and try out new things. While on a date take your time to ask meaningful questions. Where does your date expectations? Where do they see themselves in the next five or ten years? Questions also keep the conversation going.

First date

Avoid shifting the conversation to your ex or past hurtful relationships. People, like being valued and cared for and talking about your ex continuously,makes the other party feel unappreciated. First impressions matter; wear something that makes you feel comfortable. Take care of your grooming, apply some perfume and make every effort to be gorgeous. A shower is a must. For the first date select a place that you are familiar with. Always carry some extra cash in case your date cannot drop you. When choosing a place for the date, avoid a place you will constantly be bumping into your friends. This will create distractions; the date is about the two of you.

Guys your confidence matters; while it is normal for you to be a bit tense take short breathes and avoid overthinking. Do not take alcohol to cure your nerves; this can make your conversations odd and besides your date may not be into alcohol. Keep the conversation fun and maintain eye contact. One party should not do all the talking,but you should give your partner the opportunity to ask you questions and interact. Listening is an important skill that will earn you points. Nothing is annoying as someone who is constantly on their phone. It passes the message that you do not matter. When on a date be polite by turning off your phone. If you are a guy offer to pay on the first date. Make a follow up on your date to find out whether they got home well and how they are progressing after the date. You can then request for another date.

Conclusion

Dating can be a nervous time for some people. But, it is also an exciting time to meet new people. Focus on the conversation and having fun and do not make it too serious. It might take going for several dates before meeting the right person buteventually you will meet someone you like.