Some people say that first-date sex is a complete relationship killer, claiming that one should never come before the other. On the other hand, there’s also the opinion that there are few things better than having sex on the first date, even if it ends up being a one night stand. And then, there’s also the popular three-date rule that may not be so valid anymore. But are there truly any rules you should follow when it comes to intimacy and dating?
Without a doubt, the days when sex was a complete taboo are long gone. Still, these changes do not mean that sex isn’t a way to physically bond with another person anymore. It can help you feel a close connection and express your emotions and physicality, no matter whether you are into vanilla sex, or would rather browse suction cup dildos before doing the deed. However, what will happen if you allow intimacy to define your relationships from the beginning or even send others mixed signals?
If you’re thinking about getting down to business on your very first date and feel that you could use some guidance, read on below for tips that will help you determine when may be the right time to do the deed with your new date.
Three-Date Rule
First and foremost, it’s important to talk about the quite famous three-date rule that may sound confusing initially, especially if you don’t have much dating experience. What is it all about, you may be wondering? Shortly speaking, some people who date a lot tend to follow certain rules that help them establish boundaries and keep control over their love life.
The third-date rule says that you should always wait until the third date until you have sex with someone. But what if waiting doesn’t change anything, or you never get to that third date with the particular person? That’s where dating and relationship experts, such as Alexis Wolfe, founder of NYC Date Nite, say that putting such pressure on something that’s just a made-up number may not be the best decision.
Sure, a third date may be the right time to tell someone about your interest in using life size sex dolls, especially if the chemistry is there and you want to stay transparent, but in the end, basing your sex life on rules that have such unclear origins might not be the best idea. If anything, relationships should be based on mutual trust and honest communication, so it could be better to try to emphasize these two values before all else. Still, in the end, it’s all up to your and your sexual partner’s preferences.
How to Decide When to Have Sex?
All the information may still leave you wondering: is it about being honest about what you and your partner prefer? How should you decide whether having sex on a first date with a particular person is a wise decision?
Here are a couple of tips that may help you decide:
Make Sure Both of You Want It
Even if the first date is going great, the chemistry is definitely there, and everything seems to indicate that you two should have sex, you still need to ensure that both of you are on the same page. There’s no real need to talk about having a relationship yet — after all, you may go your separate ways once the romantic evening is over, but in this case, it’s crucial to start the general chat about what the two of you are after.
This way, you may find out that, for instance, the other person is interested in starting a long-term relationship, even though you’re still not ready to commit to something that serious. This knowledge will help you to decide whether having sex on this very first date is a good idea or if you want to get involved in a relationship with that particular person in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to date around and experiment, but you shouldn’t mislead your date.
Trust Your Gut
In some situations, listening to your gut may also turn out to be the right approach. Let’s say that the signs your date sends you are really obvious, and the atmosphere starts getting hot. You may decide to just go for it and initiate the sex, but not without expressing your feelings first. Remember that honesty is of the utmost importance, which means that, before doing the deed, you should say things like: I want it, but I also want a relationship. Is that what you’re up for?
Sex on the first date doesn’t always lead to a relationship, and if you don’t tell your partner what you’re looking for, at least one of you may end up getting hurt. Once you get the answer, it will help you decide if you should have sex. You may also learn that both of you will be better off as just friends or even the casual strangers you were before that date.
In Conclusion
As you can see, first-date sex doesn’t have to be as complex as some people and self-called relationship experts try to make it. Besides the fact that it’s always better to take relationship advice from experienced professionals, you also need to learn how to trust your own judgment and make your own dating rules instead of trying to rely on someone else’s experiences.
Additionally, it’s important that you always prioritize honesty and avoid misleading the people you date. Whether you’re looking for a relationship or not, it’s important to say it as soon as possible so that you both know what to expect. This way, no one will get hurt, and you could potentially be more satisfied with the way your love life plays out. Should you decide to have first-date sex, remember to stay safe, don’t forget that there’s nothing sexier than consent, and have all the fun you want.
